An Ode to Poo

Although poo is just nature’s way,

A lesser part I wish it could play

In life at home with kids all day,

Where nothing keeps the stuff at bay.

 

In baby years poo made me wince,

Then nappies went, and ever since

I wonder why I made a fuss,

Such harmless, easy, fragrant stuff.

Now, I’m bent over toilet bowl,

Gassed by odour, fresh and foul.

 

A friendship’s really sealed for me,

When their child tells me it’s not just wee.

I feel quite stoic, really kind,

When wiping their child’s soiled behind.

I never thought I’d get to know,

The pong of other kids strain-and-go.

 

As for disasters, don’t get me started,

In pubs or parks or good friend’s parties.

We’ve all been there – the sudden runs,

The not-quite-made-the toilet ones,

Wondering where we can begin,

When poo presents from toe to chin.

 

And then there’s walking to our school,

Cursing dog-owners, thoughtless and cruel,

Leaving turds right in the path

For shoes and scooters to splat in half.

Really, people, don’t you know

How long it takes that pong to go?

How deeply poo gets in the sole,

And brings us mothers up to boil?

We’ve HAD ENOUGH thanks very much,

As if beating the bell weren’t hard enough.

 

Now that our kids are five and three,

It’s nearly time for some relief.

We’re fast approaching the longed-for point

When poo is personal, no longer joint.

Just one more year of wiping bums,

And then we’re into things like worms.

Perhaps by then I’ll get to crap

All on my own, door closed, no chat.

 

But now, of course, all smells are noticed,

Commented on in broadcast voices.

Is there no end to poo-filled days?

I fear not, I’m sad to say.

For don’t forget there’s teenage jokes,

And god knows what else they’ll think of, folks.

 

Yes, I fear that scats are here to stay,

Following me right through the day.

Best gird my loins and peg my nose,

And focus on some other woes.

Yes, I fear that scats are here to stay,

Oh happy, happy, happy days.

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7 thoughts on “An Ode to Poo

    • Thanks! Well timed post too, as was up twice with my three year old doing exactly what I wrote about… ah well, the joys of life with young kids!

  1. hehe, I thought all our poo troubles were gone – smallest wipes his own, and I can go on my own, but then when smallest at a meeting with me (because he ahd a runny one at nursery) I took him to the loo, got back to meeting where he announced mummy couldn’t get a poo to come out!! Nice one, darling son!

  2. Perhaps it was meant to be – one of the books I took in for my session at school today was a silly one called Poo Bum (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Poo-Bum-Stephanie-Blake/dp/1877467960/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1349985256&sr=1-1). Thanks so much for your very kind and encouraging words on my blog today. I was pretty nervous but it went well and I am now EXHAUSTED. I started (about 18 months ago) by simply offering to read a story at going home time in school. That then grew to doing story+craft, and now I’m in this 2nd school too. If you do take the plunge, let me know how you get on!

    • That’s a bit weirdly spooky isn’t it!! Glad it went well. We have a story sack from my son’s preschool today, all about Little Red Hen. I made the effort to get it all out and play the game, read the book, use the puppets – they are such a fabulous idea. Not sure I would choose metal tools for my rather boisterous 3 year old boy, but hey, we worked with it and no one was harmed! I’ll definitely let you know – I’ve been thinking of volunteering to help with reading at my daughter’s school, but it’s tough with a younger one with me, so I’ve held off thinking I could get more involved once no. 2 is also at school. I’m too good at taking too much on – I’m trying to learn from myself!

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